Essex words & sayings
From reem and well jel to hodmedods and the Dunmow Flitch: a light-hearted guide to the words, sayings and traditions you'll come across in Essex, and how (not) to use them on a date.
Essex words and sayings
- Estuary English
- The accent heard along both banks of the Thames estuary, somewhere between London and the Home Counties. The name was coined in the 1980s.
- In dating: Accents are a great conversation starter. Just don't do an impression of theirs.
- Reem
- Brilliant, gorgeous or just right, made famous by The Only Way Is Essex.
- In dating: If someone calls your profile photo reem, take the compliment.
- Well jel
- Very jealous. Another one popularised by TOWIE.
- In dating: Your friends might be well jel when you tell them about the second date.
- Geezer
- A bloke, usually a likeable one.
- In dating: "He seemed like a nice geezer" is high praise from an Essex mum.
- Old Bill
- The police. London and Essex slang that's been around for generations.
- In dating: Not a topic for a first date, unless you're swapping stories about Southend on a bank holiday.
- Proper
- Really, very. As in "proper nice" or "proper tired".
- In dating: A proper good first date doesn't need to be fancy.
- Mawther
- An old East Anglian word for a girl or young woman, still heard in north Essex and Suffolk.
- In dating: Try it on someone from Harwich and see if they smile.
- Hodmedod
- An old Essex and Suffolk dialect word for a snail.
- In dating: Slow and steady isn't a bad way to get to know someone.
- On the huh
- Crooked or lopsided, in the old dialect of north Essex and East Anglia.
- In dating: If the picture on their wall is on the huh, maybe don't mention it yet.
Essex traditions and local lore
- East Saxons
- Essex takes its name from the East Saxons, whose Anglo-Saxon kingdom covered roughly today's county.
- In dating: You're dating in one of England's oldest named places. No pressure.
- Seaxes
- The three short curved swords on the red Essex flag, a symbol linked to the East Saxons.
- In dating: A red flag with swords on is fine. Red flags on a first date aren't.
- The Dunmow Flitch
- A flitch of bacon awarded in Great Dunmow to married couples who can convince a jury they haven't regretted marrying in a year and a day. The trials are held every leap year.
- In dating: Something to aim for, a little further down the line.
- Camulodunum
- The Roman name for Colchester, often called Britain's oldest recorded town.
- In dating: A walk along the Roman wall makes a first date with plenty to talk about.
- Colchester oysters
- Oysters have been farmed in the creeks around Colchester and Mersea since Roman times, and the town still holds an Oyster Feast every autumn.
- In dating: Oysters on Mersea is a classic Essex date. Check the tide times first.
- The pier
- Southend Pier, which stretches well over a mile into the Thames estuary and has its own railway.
- In dating: Walk out, get the train back. Plenty of time to chat either way.
- Cockle sheds
- The cockle sheds of Old Leigh, where the boats still land cockles and other seafood.
- In dating: A pot of cockles by the water is about as Essex as a date gets.
- Constable Country
- Dedham Vale on the Essex and Suffolk border, painted by John Constable, with Flatford Mill and the River Stour.
- In dating: A riverside walk from Flatford to Dedham is hard to beat for a first date.
- Tiptree
- The village near Colchester famous for the jam made there.
- In dating: Scones, jam and good company. What more do you want?
The old north Essex dialect is rarer than it used to be, and what you hear in Southend isn't what you hear in Saffron Walden. Got a favourite we've missed? Tell us when you join.
Go on, be reem. Go and meet someone.
Put a few of these to use with singles who'll know exactly what you mean.